The Winchester Kirk Expansion
by Alec McDowell
Summary: Jim and Dean are bored.


**The Winchester-Kirk Expansion**

I do not own any of these characters, or the game they play. Follows 200 years and the same old shit but you can read this without reading that. I have a couple more of these still and, yes, I do plan on having Castiel make a brief appearance at some point. I don't own ST or SPN and a few of the ideas in this story were borrowed from another show. AN at the end explains.

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Jim Kirk wandered the halls of the Enterprise. His last shift of the day had finished an hour ago, but since it was only the middle of the ship's "day" cycle, he couldn't just go to bed. Jim had tried to stay on the bridge, but Uhura's shift started right as his ended, and the captain had been temporarily banished from her presence after the bet he had made with one Dean Winchester. Smirking at the memory, Jim decided to go in search of his new friend.

The Winchesters had been onboard for two weeks now, and Jim and Dean had instantly connected. Outside of Bones, he'd never felt closer to a person. Much to the rest of the crew's dismay, Jim and Dean were too much alike. The first time he'd seen the two interact with each other, Chekov fainted outright and had to take the rest of the day off to recover. It was causing Bones enormous amounts of stress and if the doctor hadn't been getting along with Sam so well he'd probably have killed the two already.

The captain stopped when he got to the quarters Spock had found for Dean and Sam. Jim could hear 20th century music through the door, and knew Dean would be on the other side. As long as he was inside and not sleeping, some form of rock was always blasting. Jim was growing used to, and even liking some of Dean's stuff, like "Metallica" and "Led Zeppelin". Dean had made it his personal mission to get as many members of the crew into his tunes as he could and Kirk was of no exception to that. The captain used the clearance code that let him into any area of his ship without notice to enter the room. Dean looked up and smirked when he saw Jim, turning down the music to just "loud".

"Hey man, what's up?" he asked.

"Deaaannnn I'm bored," Jim whined. "I'm off duty and Uhura is working so I'm not allowed to stay on the bridge, which is all your fault. Bones is on right now and the last time I tried to hang out during one of his shifts he sedated me and then just left me on the floor."

Dean laughed happily at the image of Jim sleeping in the middle of the sickbay. "First off, Uhura being mad at you is your own fault. If you hadn't told me she'd been the only "no-win scenario" you'd ever believe in I'd never have gone after her. Second, fuck am I glad you came. I'm bored out of my skull. Turns out, staring at stars for two weeks gets a little bit old. I've been making up a game in my head for the past 45 minutes and it's either the best idea ever or completely cracked out. I can't decide."

"Can you ever?" Jim shot back. "Most of your ideas are of the "it sounded good at the time" variety. It's why we get along so well. Now show me this game of yours."

With that invitation, Dean sat up straight in the chair he'd slouched in, and began to speak as if giving a lecture. "It's very simple," he began. "Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard. Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock. Spock vaporizes rock. And as it always has, rock crushes scissors."

Jim stared at Dean for a full minute before speaking. "You… improved rock paper scissors? You added SPOCK into rock paper scissors?!"

Dean looked a little embarrassed at the sound of Jim's disbelief. He opened his mouth to acknowledge his lunacy when Jim got up and crushed him in a giant bear-hug. "You, sir," the captain said to him "are a fucking genius. Genius! Now tell me this again and let's play this shit."

After repeating the rules a couple more times Dean and Jim began to play Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock in earnest, and those passing by outside could hear endless repetitions of "Rock paper scissors lizard Spock. Shit! Rock paper scissors lizard Spock. Shit!" They quickly discovered that they both had a tendency to throw Spock, but couldn't seem to stop themselves from going back to it every third or fourth throw. Before they knew it an hour had passed and the two ventured out to the mess hall to get some Victory Sandwiches, pleased beyond measure with themselves for the new pastime they had found. They sat at a table where Sam and Bones were already eating, making small talk.

Before long Sam had asked what they'd been up to, and Dean launched into his explanation of Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock. After that they demonstrated. Sam laughed and seemed unsurprised that Dean had come up with the idea, while Bones just shook his head with an exasperated sigh that was ruined by the gleam Jim saw in his eyes. "I get Spock," he'd said to Dean. "but why lizard?"

Dean gave the doctor a look that clearly said, "If you have to ask, I can't help you."

Fifteen minutes of nonstop playing and a number of the crew had stopped eating to watch the captain and Dean. Most seemed stunned by their behavior, but a number couldn't stop laughing at the pair. When Spock walked in, the room around them went quiet. Kirk just looked over at his first officer and threw him a smile. "Hey, Spock you wanna join us?"

The Vulcan looked back at Jim with his usual blank expression, but Jim could see the corners of his mouth twitch a couple of times. "No, thank you, Captain. I am here merely to obtain meals for myself and Lieutenant Uhura and must return to the bridge as soon as possible."

Jim shrugged and Dean called out "Your loss, big guy" as Spock gathered his food and left. The two continued playing, and soon Scotty came over to join in, and over the next hour, several more members of the crew began to play. Dean sat back in his chair and watched them all with an enormous grin on his face, pleased with how quick Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock had caught on.

A week later, Uhura rescinded Jim's banishment on one condition: She was to be allowed to kill any individual who played Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock in her presence. As she left Dean leaned over to Jim and muttered in his ear. "Dude, what exactly is her deal with banishing shit?"

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AN: The game Dean invents and the explanation given is taken from The Big Bang Theory, season 2 episode 8: The Lizard-Spock Expansion  
www. youtube .com/watch?v=iapcKVn7DdY&feature=channel_page


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